Hello!
Hope this post finds you happy, healthy and fulfilled.
We are going deep today.
Deep, deep.
I know there are a lot of new people here who don't know much about our story outside of the farm.
You may have heard me reference the fact that we have family in Mexico.
Let's chat a bit about that today.
But first, we have a bit of a backstory.
It starts with me. Kirsten.
I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS); a connective tissue disorder that causes faulty collagen. It has caused me many issues throughout life and often comes with co-morbid conditions which also aren't much fun.
While EDS brought us a lot of pain and trauma, it also brought us so much strength and perspective.
It caused us to slow down, move to the farm and live an intentional life; even down to the way we eat.
One of the issues that EDS has brought to us is that I can not carry a child.
Can I make them?
Heck...I don't know. I've never tried. I mean, I've done the thing you do to make babies, but never with purpose. So, really, there may be a chance my lady parts don't even work. I don't know and I won't be finding out.
What I do know, is that EDS brought on a severe case of lordosis for me as well as internal prolapse and becuase of the lack of collagen in my body, I have very weak structuarl support in my lady organs. Essentially, it's a mess in there and everything is suspended in areas it isn't really supposed to be. & in order to carry, I was going to have to go through some extensive surgery to create a support system to support my uterus to then support a fetus.
& ya know what? That just isn't something I wanted to do.
Now, before you get scared because maybe you or somebody you know has EDS...this is not normal. There are many people with EDS who do just fine carrying a child.
I just have a severe case.
When Keith joined the picture, he knew from the get-go that carrying was out of the question for me.
After about a year and a half of dating, I sat him down and gave him an out.
I said something along the lines of, "Hey dude, if you want babies via the traditional route, it's time for you to bounce because this girl can't give you that."
Okay, that's a lie. I was much more delicate than that, but it's also something private between him and I so that's what you get.
I can't remember exactly what he said, but it was something along the lines of, "I don't need that, but I do need you."
Gross. 🫠☺️
& that was pretty much that.
You may be sitting here reading this thinking i'm being very blasé about such a heavy topic, but it just was never a thing for me. Or for him.
There are so many beautiful ways to have family. Or be fulfilled and happy without also.
From the very beginning, we were both very interested in bringing somebody into our home who was older. Or a family. Or somebody who had aged out of the system and just needed a family to love them for the rest of their lives.
We were not interested in going through the (often times) torturous adoption process.
But of course, the words and expectations of others spilled in for a brief moment and we looked into some options.
We had a phone call with a surrogate company out of Chicago and ended that call as fast as we dialed. Not for us. Great option for some, but wasn't right for us.
Then we chatted with an adoption agency out of Iowa that had a waitlist to be put on the waitlist.
We politely declined and that was the end of our search.
We went back to the belief that whatever was meant to come our way, would.
Open, but not expecting.
The belief that whatever we needed would find us.
& in 2019, while building our home, we received a call.
A no frills scenario.
A gentleman who knew Keith (& our story) contacted us and asked if we would be interested in adopting a young boy.
We said no. & it was the HARDEST decision we have ever made. Ever.
It was exactly what we had asked the universe for and we were declining.
We were not ready. & I know, nobody ever is. I get it. But we had the choice.
I had a lot of sleepless nights and a lot of guilty tears. I felt like a failure to that boy.
But my best friend said something that will forever stick with me, "You have to look at it like this. The universe was showing you it's possible after so many people told you it wasn't. Just because it wasn't your time, doesn't mean the opportunity won't come again." Grateful for that friend.
That young boy is living with a beautiful family in Kansas alongside two sisters (who were also adopted) and a loving Mom and Dad. He is doing great in school and got to take his first vacation and go on an airplane. He has a happy life and a happy story.
& this is where our story begins.
That same year, Keith and I visited an orphanage in Mexico.
We had a lovely time, but it was a private orphanage and funded by Canadian and US residents. The kids were well taken care of, had everything they needed, many things they wanted and a great educaiton.
After arriving back to the hotel, we ran into our friend Yolanda, who was hotel staff at the time, but remains in our lives today.
We were telling her about our day and how great it was but that we also didn't feel much opportunity to make an impact there.
She started telling us about a school she volunteered at.
Long story short, her and another woman were raising money to feed 50 underprivileged students lunch at a nearby school every day.
In public schools in Mexico, you either bring your lunch, buy your lunch or go hungry. There is no free lunch program. But Yolanda changed that for one school.
We ended up rounding up enough money to feed those 50 kids for the next three months and asked if we could come with her when we came back for vacation the following year.
2020 rolled around and we headed back to Mexico.
We popped into Walmart and bought uniforms (blue bottoms and white shirts), socks and underwear.
When we arrived, we distributed the clothes, helped serve lunch and were able to purchase a new sink and soccer balls for the school to use.
While there, Yolanda started putting all the leftover food she had in a young boys backpack to take home to his family, knowing if she didn't, him and his siblings wouldn't eat again until they came back to school the next day.
The young boys name was Ulises.
& he would become family.
His family would become our family.
This was our bright spot.
Over the last almost 5 years, our relationship with all of them has been the greatest blessing to us.
Their story of strength and survival is beautiful.
While we are always open to the possibility of bringing kids into our home (maybe one of these kiddos someday 😁) we are also so happy with the current outcome.
Because we aren't chasing around and providing for children in our home, we are able to help an entire family.
But more importatnly, we gained an entire family.
Welcome to a really special piece of our life. 😁
🫶🏼
KL2
FYI : I have shared a bit on YouTube if you're interested in being more up-to-date. HERE is the link to the playlist. More to come soon!
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